Communicating Effectively with Your Child’s Teacher
If you’ve been following our monthly blog, you know that part of our focus over the Thanksgiving holiday and Winter Break has been on comfortable communication in family and school settings. Much of our advice has been geared towards teaching our children to communicate effectively. But sometimes, particularly at the elementary and secondary school levels, it falls to us as parents to run interference and take the lead communicating concerns to our children’s teachers.
Wrightslaw, the pre-eminent special education advocacy website and resource, frames effective parent-teacher communication as moving from emotion to advocacy. That is, in fact, the title of one of Pam and Pete Wright’s most popular books. There are a variety of strategies to help take the emotion out of the conversation and aim for a collaborative, and ultimately more productive, meeting. Dr. Sarah Robison, EEG Executive Function Specialist and Gap Year Coach, has some useful tips to share.
Keep emails courteous
Dr. Robison, a parent herself, keeps a specific rubric in mind when emailing teachers. “I try to frame it as: observation, concern, question,” she explains. This serves to open the conversation without blame or defensiveness. It allows for an opportunity to clarify the situation if necessary and work together on appropriate next steps.
An example of an observation/concern/question email would be:
Dear Teacher,
I’ve noticed that my child feels very confused about what his homework is and that his planner isn’t filled out. I’m concerned that we won’t be able to support him with work completion. I’m wondering if you could double-check his planner when it’s time for the class to copy down the assignment?
Many Thanks,
Parent
Use sentence starters for objective conversation
It’s easy for discussions to become heated quickly, especially in formal settings such as IEP or 504 meetings where parents can often feel like they are not being heard. Dr. Robison finds that keeping a sticky note handy with sentence starters reminds her to keep her language neutral when conveying her concerns. Some of her go-to phrases include:
· I’m wondering if…
· I have a question about…
· Could you share more about…
· Can we find a way to collaborate on…
· Would it be possible to…
Try these tips during your next opportunity to communicate with your child’s teacher or team to keep your approach results oriented.